Lessons from Community
May 10, 2009 by Lillie
A few years ago, when you talked about your community, you meant one of the first two definitions at Dictionary.com:
1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.
2. a locality inhabited by such a group.
Today, you’re just as likely to mean any group of which you are a part that shares common interests. Often, the communities we belong to are virtual: blogs, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Flickr, Plaxo … and an infinite number of other groups, tightly or loosely structured, formal or informal.
This month, Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings has challenged us to write about What I Learned From… Community for his monthly group writing project. Compared to most bloggers, I’m a social media dud. I’m on Facebook and LinkedIn (and many more that I thoughtlessly joined when someone sent me an invitation). However, when I see “what are you doing now?”, I draw a blank. I’m not doing anything that would interest anyone else. I’m a poor friend to all the people I’ve invited or accepted as friends on the various social media networks. It’s not that I don’t want to connect with people—it’s just that sending a virtual plant or talking about what I’m doing or taking a quiz to see how much we’re alike doesn’t make me feel connected.
And the idea of Twitter is overwhelming to me. I see snippets posted on blogs, and they either don’t make sense to me or they seem to be a waste of time. I know many, many people love Twitter, make real friends, and find it productive. However, it appears to me to be like talking to people at parties—something I’m really bad at doing.
Guess I’m beginning to sound antisocial and the last person to understand community, much less learn anything from it. But I have a wonderful little community right here on my blog, and I’m part of the communities of other bloggers. Although I post a fair amount about writing, publishing, books, and authors, I have deliberately made this a personal blog so I’m not limited in what I write about. I post about my Christian faith, patriotism and troop support, and random musings.
That creates several sub-communities among my readers. Some like to read my Christian posts; some want to read about writing, publishing, books, and authors; some enjoy both; and some just find an occasional post of interest.
I’ve learned that small communities form when people share interests, even if only some of the interests are shared.
I confess I don’t pay as much attention to blog stats as I should. Recently, though, I looked at where my visitors come from and was surprised to see how many come from India, which is second only to the US. I have no idea why so many people from India visit my blog. If you’re one of those readers from India, maybe you can share in comments what attracts you here.
I’ve learned that geographic location or native language aren’t very important in determining who makes up a virtual community.
A significant number (125 to 200 each month) of my readers leave comments. Often, the comments are more interesting and informative than the post itself. Readers share their own knowledge and experience, which adds perspective that is missing from my post. They ask questions, which allows me to expand and explain my thoughts. They challenge me with different opinions, which requires me to evaluate and defend my own opinions and beliefs.
I’ve learned that conversation makes community interesting, entertaining, and educational.
DoFollow motivates many bloggers to leave comments, but as long as the comments are relevant, I appreciate them. Unfortunately, it’s becoming more difficult to separate legitimate comments from spam. Unless the person has left comments before, I delete comments that just say “great post” or “keep up the good work.” In some cases, those may be sincere, but so many of these are spam that I think they all are.
The spam that irritates me the most are those comments that quote part of my post or an earlier comment. If they quote my post or my comment, I catch it easily. But when they quote someone else’s comment on an old post, it’s not so easy to catch. So when I get comments on old posts, I go back and read all the previous comments before approving a new one. Although I could cut off comments after a certain time period, I don’t want to do that because I get valuable comments from people who go back and read the old posts when they discover my blog.
I’ve learned that some people try to gain the benefits of community without adding value, but that just makes me appreciate the community members that contribute even more.
Above all, I’ve learned that even a shy wallflower can be part of community and love it.
I kinda like Twitter. But I would have to agree that sometimes, people tweet pretty useless things. So before I post anything on Twitter, I would ask myself would find it useful.
For example, you are apparently not a big fan of Twitter. So let me do the Twitter thing for you (lol) by sharing this post. This is a pretty insightful read for anyone who spends a lot of time online.
And here it is:
http://twitter.com/justlabcoats/status/1761620319
Terry,
Thanks for the link to the article, but it’s on Twitter and I couldn’t access it without a Twitter account. Is there a direct link off Twitter?
Nowadays, community is defined based on common interest. Geographic location and language is not considered an important factor anymore.
I personally hate twitter and all online communities
Sylvia,
I certainly don’t hate online communities. I just don’t understand or feel comfortable using Twitter and other social media.
imawniumay,
I prefer comments that add to the conversation rather than repeat what has already been said unless you are pointing out your agreement or reinforcement of the idea. I left your comment because there is a response to it, but ordinarily I delete comments that simply repeat what has been said.
Lillie, funny that you consider yourself to be a poor social media friend. In reality, I have found you to be someone who looks to go beyond the “surfacy” aspects of online socializing to connect with people either through this blog or by leaving comments on my own blog or elsewhere.
Lots of people like to “connect” online, but the only connection that they seek is adding you to their numbers list. You choose to interact directly with people and for that I am appreciative.
Matt Keegan´s last blog post..Rekindling Amazon’s Kindle E-Book Reader
Thank you, Matt! I appreciate your words.
You’re right—I guess why I don’t value a lot of social media interaction is that it is “surfacy” and that doesn’t appeal to me.
Lillie, I have a few communities that enrich me. My blog community (you included!) and my meditation community are the big ones. Both are “family” and enhance my life in different, special ways. I’m not someone who seeks out conversation that only backs up my own thinking, so both groups bring me alternative views and help me to grow as a tolerant, accepting person.
And you’re right about Twitter – it is exactly like that, and it’s frustrating sometimes. There’s a lot of speaking, but I don’t really run into much listening there.
Lori´s last blog post..Take Part, Win a Prize
Lori,
Communities that are “family” and that enhance your life are so valuable, much better than meaningless chatter.
Hi Lillie, I certainly don’t consider you a social media dud. Quality is more important than quantity, and you always have something interesting and important to say. The fact that you haven’t spread yourself too thin across all these sites just makes me pay all the more attention to you, and value your conversation.
Brad Shorr´s last blog post..Social Media Squeeze Endangers Midsized Firms
What a nice thing to say, Brad! Thank you.
These are some great lessons, Lillie. I especially like and appreciate #5, having been quite the wallflower myself. Oh, and #2 is good. And #4. Heck; they’re ALL good!
And guess what? You won the free Problogger book! Congratulations, and a tip o’ the hat to ya! See? Last-minute entries can STILL work wonders!
Robert Hruzek´s last blog post..All Entries: What I Learned From Community
Robert,
Wow! I won the book even though I’m one of your perenially late entrants. That shows how generous you are—you could cut off eligibility a few hours before the deadline.
Thanks.
Naah. Actually, I tend to lean the other way…
Robert Hruzek´s last blog post..All Entries: What I Learned From Community
Thanks, Robert, for your generosity.
“The spam that irritates me the most are those comments that quote part of my post or an earlier comment.”
I completely agree.
Sorry… I couldn’t resist doing that!
Support (if you wrote YourName@Keywords, I could address you as a real person, and you would still get your keyword link),
You almost had me there—I saw the quotation marks (which the spammers never use) and read far enough to get the joke. Thanks for a good laugh.
One of the problems is that people try to add everyone as friends just to have a million friends. That’s one of the reasons I like Facebook is that I can keep it to only friends and family, so they can see updates, pictures and whatever else.
The fact that twitter allows anyone to view updates w/o being a follower simply sets them up for twitter “spam”
redline (if you wrote YourName@Keywords, I could address you as a real person, and you would still get your keywork link),
So many people “friend” everyone who comes along. I’ve made the mistake myself of accepting invitations because I hate to say no. Now I’ve learned to ignore many requests.
Those are all great observations about community. I’d add another:
Communities flourish where people feel accepted and feel they are welcome to join.
Spot´s last blog post..Tips For Finding Cool, Yet Inexpensive, Cruises
Spot,
Good point. Feeling welcome and accepted is very important.
Lillie,
You might know until now that I’m from India (I think I’ve mentioned it somewhere in my earlier comments). In general, every blog or at least majority blogs on the Web have significant Indian traffic and the reasons are obvious, our billion population who are turning social, slow but steady. But your blog is something special. In my case, I came to your blog first time via Kiwibloke and the first post that I happened to see was the post on the mighty Doberman and what it did to you. Although the mood in that is a bit sorrowful, the way of presenting it to your readers was fantastic.
As I said before, Lillieammann.com is in my most visited sites in Google chrome (like speed dial in opera) and I visit your blog to see whats new.
And about Twitter, I’m dumb at it
Sriraj´s last blog post..Clerks vacancies in Karur Vysya Bank
Sriraj,
Yes, I knew you were from India, and I was hoping you would be one of the people to respond to my question. It’s hard to realize how many people there are in India and how many are active online.
You are so kind to say such lovely things about my blog, I’m honored and pleased that you like it so much.
I’m glad someone else is as dumb about Twitter as I am.:-)
I therefore conclude that:
A community is only really a community if it builds genuine relationships between the members.
rowenalee,
Genuine relationships rather than artificial “friendship” that often happens in social media—good point.
I love Twitter so much.
I use it to keep in touch with my friends 24/7 and it’s sooo simple.
For example my friend Andy lives in NZ and I live in AU. He’s going to hospital today and I can Twitter him on his mobile for free! It’s so cool.
miyaka,
Staying in touch with your sick friend is a productive use of Twitter. I’m sure there are many worthwhile uses, and even the more frivolous conversations may be good for building relationships. We each have our own preferences for the communities we are comfortable with.
I agree that the meaning of community has changed. Not so long ago a community was restricted geographically. Now, with instant messages, social networks, twitters and other similar things, location is the least important factor. As you said – common interests are.
Anna,
There are many, many ways to communicate now. I often wonder what life must have been like in the time not so long ago when it took months for news to travel by letter. Now most of us can’t stand to be away from our cell phone or other communication device for any length of time.
I am also a member of twitter and other communities. But most of them are using this community to link with their similar business persons. May be others misuse it.
acaiberryuk´s last blog post..Can the Acai Berry Help Cure Common Illnesses and Thyroid
acai (if you wrote YourName@Keywords, I could address you as a real person, and you would still get your keyword link),
I know many people find Twitter very productive. Some probably misuse it, but some people just prefer other ways of interacting.
yes I agree with you
acaiberryuk´s last blog post..Can the Acai Berry Help Cure Common Illnesses and Thyroid
I have many friends who love Twitter, but so far it hasn’t appealed to me.
Is it just me, or is Twitter everywhere these days? I wasn’t familiar with this social networking tool at all until I got an email that someone tweet me. I joined them because my curiosity. I feel a little bit disappointed because it’s not as I used to imagine. For me it seems overrated. Anyway at least it makes me in trend, hey I have a twitter now… lol.
nick,
I think Twitter has just about taken over the world.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person left in the world who doesn’t tweet.
These days community is based on the ideas, thoughts and the common thinking of people. Things have changed alot after the internet being so common and the freedom of speech available to everyone. Like Face book and Twitter are serving as community sites used by many people around the globe.
Sam,
The Internet has made a big change in what people think of as community. Facebook and Twitter are two of the big community sites, but there are many, many more.
Hi Lillie.
Community seems to be the buzz word all over the Internet and on so many blogs. I came to read your winning post to learn something. Online community as a term seemed elusive to me, virtual yet very much alive.
Your points made sense to me though:
Affinity — I do belong to and participate on a couple of art forums and have made friends there. I write a blog and am beginning to see some familiar faces in the comments section. Now and then some new ones. I get that.
I love what you wrote under your second point. (I won’t quote though…
) Your guests sharing their thoughts, adding a different perspective, maybe challenging your thinking — these things are critical to good discussion but are missing today on most news and news commentary shows. I love how you see it! (That will bring me back.)
Reading across several blogs the last couple weeks, I’m learning that so many of us are introverted (wall flowers, as you say). I really do think it takes a quieter person to hear and see and recombine all that information into their own creative writings — fact or fiction.
And I’m all a-Twitter. Not using it much, but I do share blog posts when I come across good ones. (As your first commenter up there did with this one.)
Barb
Barb Hartsook´s last blog post..Why Does an Artist Paint? Or a Writer Write?
Barb,
Thanks for your insightful comments. I, too, have noticed how many “wallflowers” there are, but I hadn’t made the connection that made so well: that a quieter sees and hears and internalizes and combines … Excellent point.
Lillie, I visited Robert’s blog and it mentioned that you’re the lucky winner of the new WILF project. Congratulation, my friend!
wilson´s last blog post..For The Health’s Sake, You Should Stop Eating the Hot Breads Fresh Out of the Oven!
Thank you, wilson. I’m excited to get the book in Robert’s random drawing.
I think that twitter is not something to be underestimated since you can really connect with like-minded people and expose your brand by making genuine connections.
C,
I’m glad so many people find Twitter useful. Each of us needs to use the tools that work for us and that we are comfortable with.
i just would like to add that it’s also nice to come across a community that is very welcoming… makes it all the more easier for a shy wallflower to feel right at home….
Thank you, James. Glad to have you here.
Community denotes lots of meanings. It may be even called as a group in a certain place where you all share views and opinions for a certain project, it maybe a virtual or online communities, no matter how small or big you are in numbers as long as you belong in a group and that you have this purpose to make a community alive, then by all means, it is a community- community of one mind for a certain goal. And being in that community is fulfilling for you will be able to help, and I can say that it’s really good getting involved in this kind of activity. I have experienced it once, and it’s such an achievement for me. In my own little way, I have shared my knowledge.
Cindy´s last blog post..Puppy Center
Cindy,
Good point. An organization or informal group that unites for a particular purpose is a community. It’s good that you’ve had such a positive experience.
I think there is a sense of connection in small communities compared to that of larger ones. Everyone knows everyone, which leads them connecting and talking to each other.
Josh,
I think you’re generally right, though I’ve found that in large communities, people tend to congregate in smaller communities with the same benefits as physically small communities.
I think that there is a real need for community in general. I think it’s proven by how many people seem to flock to the social networking sites in hopes of being with like-minded people. I happen to prefer the small communities. I would much rather know a few people well than know lots of people only in passing.
Joshua Dodson @ Writers Community´s last blog ..The Research Process
Joshua,
I understand what you are saying. Maybe that is why I have resisted Twitter for so long. I’m finally giving in, though, as so many people I know rave about it so much, I’m going to give it a try.
Community is something I am thinking a lot about lately. There is such a need to connect with people on a heart level and have authentic relationships.
Gary,
Yes, so many relationships are superficial. “Friends” on social networks that we barely know and people in our daily lives that we know only superficially.
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