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Five years ago today, my mother departed this earth to join my father in Heaven, where he had resided for more than eight years. Today, I still thank God regularly for the blessing of being born to these two remarkable people. By the standards of the world, they never accomplished much. Neither had more than a high school education until Mama trained to become a Licensed Vocational Nurse after the youngest children were in high school and the others had left home. Daddy ran a small farm, but for many years he had to supplement his income by working as a rural letter carrier, a.k.a. mailman. I never realized we were poor until I learned I was eligible for financial assistance for college because we were below the poverty level. Yet Mama and Daddy were two of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and, more importantly, the kindest, most generous, and most loving. Their world revolved around their six kids. They had high standards for behavior and school performance, and Daddy wouldn’t hesitate to enforce his standards with a spanking. However, I - and I believe all my siblings - were less concerned about being punished for misbehavior than seeing the look of disappointment on my parents’ faces. Daddy was born on the farm he grew up on, and he lived there his entire life except for three years in the Army and the last few years of his life in a nursing home. Mama was born in California and moved around with her parents who were migrant workers. When she was in high school, she moved to Utah to live with her grandmother after her grandfather died. She and Daddy met while Daddy was stationed in Utah in the Army.
They were simple, unassuming people, but they both had a wonderful sense of humor. You can see their proud smiles in this photo with me as a tiny baby, but the camera didn’t catch Daddy’s mischievous grin that he characteristically wore. Daddy loved walking through the farm checking on the cattle he knew individually. When I was growing up, south Texas was going through a terrible drought. Daddy found a way to keep going. He couldn’t grow crops or raise cattle, but he discovered that caged chickens didn’t need rain … so he went into the egg business with 20,000 chickens. After the drought ended, he went back to farming crops and cattle. Patients in the hospital and nursing home loved Mama because she was sweet and thoughtful. She worked for many years as a nurse’s aide before training as a nurse, and in both capacities, she cared for the emotional needs as well as the medical needs of her patients. Daddy was a whiz at math. He could work any problem in his head, but he couldn’t tell you how he arrived at the answer. As a kid, I used to test him. “How much is 1,392 times 847?” I’d ask as I punched the numbers into a calculator. “1,179,024,” Daddy would answer before the calculator processed the problem. “How did you know that?” I’d ask when the calculator agreed with him. “That’s just what it is,” Daddy would say. Mama loved to read and do crossword puzzles and word games. She always had a novel or two along with several puzzle books and pencils handy. When I was in high school, I was president of the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) Subdistrict (a group of several churches in a small geographic area). Back in those days, churches, like everything else, were segregated. I was invited to speak to the MYF at a black church in San Antonio (nearly a hundred miles from the rural area we lived in). I was thrilled at the invitation but was flabbergasted at the response when I told my parents and asked them to take me. Daddy said, “I’m not going to any n- church.” I think my mouth must have dropped open in shock. I had no idea my father was prejudiced. He did business with and was friendly with many Hispanics at a time and place where there was a lot of prejudice against Mexicans, as Hispanics were called then. There were no black people anywhere around where we lived, so Daddy wasn’t prejudiced against blacks from personal experience. It seemed to be just “the way things were” back then. My mother, on the hand, was completely different. When she was a child, her father had become very ill and the family couldn’t afford a doctor. A black family in the migrant camp, who must have been just about as poor as my grandparents, helped them out. So my mother had a totally different reaction than my father. She may well have talked to him in private about his reaction, but she would not have done anything he didn’t agree with. But the thing I so admired about my father was that in spite of his own prejudice, he didn’t pass it on to me. He didn’t forbid me to speak to the black youth group. He even drove me the nearly hundred miles to attend. However, he wouldn’t get out of the car. He and Mama drove around and around until I was finished. I don’t remember any details of the event except that I was very happy about it. But I will never forget how my father helped me do something he couldn’t bring himself to do because he knew he was wrong (though he would never admit that).
During my first year of college, my family’s house caught on fire in the middle of the night. Mama woke up smelling smoke and herded everyone outside, though one of my brothers kept trying to get back in bed and go to sleep. Daddy managed to get in and rescue a few business records from the file cabinet in the front room, but then the fire was too hot to save anything else. Everyone sat in the front yard watching the house burn while they waited for the volunteer fire department to arrive from the town seven miles away. Daddy looked around and counted kids. “There’s only five kids here,” he screamed. “Someone’s missing.” He started to run back into the house, now an inferno in full bloom. Mama had a hard time making him understand that I was away at college and not in the burning house. The rest of the family had only the night clothes they were wearing. Everyone in the family wears glasses, and all the glasses burned up in the fire. My parents and siblings spent the rest of the night at my grandmother’s, just a few hundred yards away on the same farm. The next morning, when the school bus stopped at the end of the lane, someone (maybe my grandmother) notified the bus driver that the children wouldn’t be going to school because of the fire. That afternoon, the bus stopped again, this time filled with clothing and household goods that the townspeople had donated. For several months, the family lived in the “egg house,” the building that was used to grade and pack eggs for market. Daddy bought an old frame house, moved it on to the farm, and renovated it for the family’s new home. My folks didn’t let that fire - or any of the other difficulties they encountered in life - shake their strong faith or change their positive, kind, and loving personalities. I will always be grateful for being blessed with their love, faith, and nurturing. Table of contents for Magical ThinkingI didn’t intend to write a series on magical thinking. I planned just one post on the subject, my entry in What I Learned From People. However, this has been a learning experience all on its own. Because I used words that many people consider positive in a negative context, my message apparently didn’t get through to a lot of people. Perhaps the following little joke will put magical thinking in context. A man of faith, Sam, answered a knock on his door to find a sheriff’s deputy standing on the porch. “Sir,” the deputy said, “the dam has broken and the river is flooding. Come get in my patrol car, and I’ll drive you to safety.” Sam answered, “Thank you, but God will take care of me.” A little while later, the floodwaters had reached Sam’s house and were starting to cover the porch. A man arrived in a small rowboat. “Sir,” he called out, “I’ll maneuver my boat right up next to your porch. Jump in the boat, and I’ll row you to safety.” Sam answered, “Thank you, but God will take care of me.” Some time later, the water had reached the second floor, and Sam was watching the rising river from a bedroom window. Two men appeared in a much larger boat. “Sir,” one called through a megaphone, “We’ll pull the boat up beside the house and toss you a rope ladder. Grab the ladder and climb down into the boat, and we’ll take you to safety.” Sam answered, “Thank you, but God will take care of me.” Soon the floodwaters had filled the house, and Sam was standing on his rooftop. A rescue team arrived in a helicopter. “Sir,” a rescuer called through a bullhorn, “we’re dropping a line. Grab the line; we’ll pull you up into the helicopter and fly you to safety.” Sam answered, “Thank you, but God will take care of me.” A short time later, Sam was washed away in the flood. When he came to stand before the Lord, he said, “God, I’ve been a man of faith all my life. I put all my trust in you. I knew you would save me. Why did you let me drown?” “Son, I sent you a car, two boats, and a helicopter. What more did you want?” Sam didn’t recognize his salvation in the ordinary people and tools of rescue. He expected God to work a supernatural miracle to save him. In the same way, the man who expects the government to provide him financial security doesn’t recognize the seeds of his security in the entry level job he disdains because it’s menial work at low pay. In the same way, the cancer patient who wants healing doesn’t recognize God’s healing hand in months of chemotherapy or radical surgery but wants an instant and miraculous cure. In the same way, the writer who wants to become a best-selling author doesn’t recognize editing and revising and proofreading as early steps in the road to bestsellerdom but thinks her first draft should be good enough. Magical thinkers rely on supernatural powers rather than the power of hard work. Magic can happen … but I don’t think any of us can count on it! Recently, a client sent me a document to edit that was filled with spelling errors that should have been caught by spell check. I sent my client a note offering to help her new assistant turn on automatic spell checking. A few days later, I was working on a new document for the same client. I typed a word and realized I had misspelled it … but there was no squiggly red line under the word. Was it right? No, it looked wrong, but Word said it was correct when I manually checked the spelling. So I looked the word up in the dictionary, and it was wrong. Maybe there something wrong for the listing of that word in Word’s dictionary. So I typed another misspelled word … and another … and another. Word said all were correct. I typed gibberish. Word said it was correct. I opened all the other Office programs and typed the same gibberish and spell check put squiggly red lines under every “word.” Thus began a three-hour process of researching and experimenting to correct the problem. I read Word help and checked all the settings. I logged into the Microsoft forums and tried the numerous suggestions for spell check problems. I changed settings and edited the registry and rebooted the computer after each change. Word still told me my gibberish was correctly spelled. Finally, I came across a message that sometimes a “bad” add-in can cause a problem with spell-check. So I decided to disable add-ins one at a time, then see if spell-check worked. When I opened Add-ins and looked at the drop down menu to manage add-ins, I saw a selection for Disabled Add-ins. I opened Disabled Add-ins and discovered spell check was disabled! Word said the add-in was disabled because it caused a serious problem the last time it was used. I don’t recall any “serious problems” with Word - and I’m not likely to forget “serious problems” - but whatever happened, the problem is solved! Spell check can be easily misused and abused. I continually see words that are spelled correctly but are the wrong word for the context because the writer accepted Word’s spelling suggestion. However, I know much time it can save and how much it can improve accuracy if used correctly.
That thought led to the memory of the typewriter. There wouldn’t be nearly as many writers as there are today if we still used manual (or even electric) typewriters. Several years ago, I transcribed my mother-in-law’s life story from tape recordings she made. I had helped my mother with her story (which I’ll talk about in a few months in a series on writing memoirs and family histories), and my husband and I had encouraged my mother-in-law to write her own life story. She finally agreed to talk into a recorder if I would transcribe the recordings. After I typed the manuscript, we took it to her to edit, especially to be sure I spelled unfamiliar names and places correctly. She asked how I wanted her to mark the changes. When I told her to just mark the manuscript pages, she said, “Oh, I don’t want you to have to re-type the whole page for a small error!” She had used the same manual typewriter since her college days in the 1920s. She had never used a computer and was amazed when I told her I could make the corrections on the computer and print out a new manuscript. Jack picked her up and brought her to my office to spend the afternoon while I was making the corrections. Cut and paste amazed her. She kept saying, “I would have had to re-type the whole thing to move things around like that.” That experience gave me a new appreciation for the computer and word processing. It also gave me a wonderful visit with my mother-in-law and lovely memories years after she is no longer with us. Technorati Tags: spell check, computer problem I’m not sure whether to thank or blame Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life for A Gratitude “MeMe” for “YouYou.” On one hand, this post has taken more time and effort to compile than any other single post I’ve ever written. Lisa said it would be a challenge to do it manually, but I didn’t realize what a challenge until I spent hours at a time for several days copying and pasting from WordPress into a spreadsheet to compile the list. In fact, I intended to post this before the end of the year, but it’s taken this long to put the post together. On the other hand, what a treat is has been to review a year’s worth of comments, remember great conversations, and think of commenters who have become good friends.
In the past year, 324 commenters have left more than a thousand comments on 230 posts. I have replied to every one, bringing the total number of comments to more than 2000. In addition to replying, I always visit the blog of every commenter who includes a link and end up subscribing to many of the blogs I visit. More than the numbers impressed me as I went back through every comment in the last year. Some were short comments agreeing with something I said. Others were longer discourses that advanced the conversation by answering a question, providing more information, or sharing new insights. A few were lengthy explanations of why I was wrong, but all were respectful and thoughtful. I am awed and humbled by the amazing conversations we’ve had. Thank you to each commenter for your contributions to this blog in 2007. I look forward to your continued participation in the coming year. About a third of the commenters left multiple comments. While I appreciate each comment, there are a few individuals who have to be singled out for being so much a part of this blog. Top Contributors (50+ comments): Major Contributors (20 to 40 comments): Outstanding Contributors (10 to 20 comments): Significant Contributors (2 to 10 comments): Important Contributors (1 comment): Disclaimer and advance apology: Although I tried to be accurate, I'm sure there are mistakes in the list. If I left you off or made an error in your listing, please accept my advance apology and post a correction in a comment below. Note that if whatever was listed as the commenter's name was the same as the name of the blog, I listed and linked to the blog without repeating the name. If there is no link for a listing, 1) the commenter doesn't have a blog; 2) the link was removed from the comment because I found the site offensive (there are only a couple of those); or 3) the link led to a parked domain. I did not check each link, but I clicked on ones that I didn't recognize the site name from the URL. If the link led to a parked domain, I removed the link as the site no longer exists. If I knew of a URL change since the comment was left, I linked to the current blog. I also want to thank those who read and reviewed the manuscript of my forthcoming novel, Dream or Destiny. Others offered to read; however, either I already had enough volunteers or they were unable to finish because of schedule conflicts. I appreciate those offers as well. Special thanks to the following who took the time to read and review the manuscript. Your comments, edits, and insights will make the book stronger, and for that I am grateful. Thank you all for a fabulous 2007! I'm looking forward to an even better 2008. As I read blogs, I notice an increasing trend in certain kinds of posts. Some blogs have a weekly or monthly roundup drawing attention to some of the posts on their blog. I look at the headline and click away from these posts. If the topic interested me, I read the post when it first appeared. If I didn’t read it then, I’m not going to read it now just because it’s listed in a roundup of posts. Of course, I realize new readers find blogs all the time, and these roundup posts might be helpful to them. What do you think about writing a post at the end of the week or the month linking to earlier posts on your own blog? Other bloggers post roundups with links to posts on other blogs they found interesting. Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life and Liz Lewis at My year of getting published have recently linked to a post on this blog, and Matt Keegan at The Article Writer regularly publishes link love posts. I enjoy link posts that include a few links related to a particular subject, especially if there is information about why the link is worthwhile instead of just a list. I’m less apt to pay attention to a long list of links, especially if the links don’t seem to be related in any way. Some bloggers make it point to thank everyone who commented on their blogs in the past month. Sharon Hurley Hall at Get Paid to Write Online and Jeanne Dininni at Writer’s Notes are among those who thank their commenters. This is a nice gesture, and I want those who take the time to time to comment here to know how much I appreciate them. However, I don’t want to just copy someone else’s good post idea. Then there are themes and regular features. Joanna Young follows a monthly theme at Confident Writing. Yvonne Russell hosts the Weekend Writers Cafe at Grow Your Writing Business. Mig at Pamil Vision’s eWritings posts on Blogs to Read, a group of blogs related to a specific topic. Laura Spencer at Writing Thoughts features a different blog “Of Note” each week. I don’t think posting a feature on a regular schedule is how I want to blog, though I enjoy all of these as a reader. I would like to post one series each month. I enjoy focusing on a particular topic - such as self-publishing, POD, news releases, e-books, and others I’ve done in the past - and covering it in more depth over several days. I’d like to know what readers would find interesting. What topics related to writing, editing, and publishing would you like to learn more about? Share what kinds of posts you like by making a comment. Technorati Tags: blogging I received the link to the While You Can Movie in a newsletter from Mr. Positive - a brief daily dose of motivation, encouragement, and positive thoughts. The movie inspired me to take a moment to thank YOU for reading my blog, commenting, and giving me support and encouragement. The response to my request for advance readers for my upcoming book amazed me. Your posts on your own blogs and your comments here enlighten, entertain, and encourage me. So today, I pause to say …
Technorati Tags: thanks, motivation, encouragement
Jim Blasingame, the Small Business Advocate, points out in his newsletter every year that there is no Small Business Day, even though “small businesses account for about 75% of new jobs created in the country,” according to the Small Business Administration. About half of all employees work for small businesses. The government’s report on small business for 2005 (released in December 2006) states:
But what about those of us who are self-employed? The same report indicates:
That means that two-thirds of small businesses have no employees. Freelancers fall into this category. Writers and designers often think of themselves as creative rather than entrepreneurial. However, to be successful, we have to be both. My guess is that many of us will be working at least part of this holiday weekend. I hadn’t intended to work, but I have a client - a self-employed consultant - who has a big project starting next week, and she needs my help in preparing the training materials for her workshops. So she’ll be working … and I’ll be working while workers employed by small and large businesses will have a day off. However, even if |
Labor Day