What I Learned from a Colorful Character: Eliminate This Word
March 4, 2010 by Lillie
Today I’m combining my response to the Blog Challenge for Words Matter Week with my entry in the What I Learned from Colorful Characters groupwrite project.
You see, I’ve been married to a colorful character for nearly 43 years. I’ve laughed every day, and I haven’t been bored a single minute. Jack is smart, funny, opinionated, assertive, upbeat, tenacious, independent, determined, self-confident, perfectionistic, and unconventional.
Recently, all the waitresses in the restaurant gathered around the cash register to listen to Jack’s silly banter as he paid for our meal. One of them said, “Y’all have to come back more often to entertain us and keep us from getting bored.”
This week, the election worker who set up the voting machines for us told Jack, “Hey, I remember you from the last election. Glad to see you again.”
Whether we’re at the bank, the grocery store, or the dry cleaners—if Jack has been there before, someone remembers him and smiles.
When I had a stroke, he took care of me and did all the things I couldn’t do for myself. More importantly, he had the attitude that recovery was the only option. Regardless of what it took, it was just a matter of time before I would be well again. “The improbable can be done immediately,” he said. “But the impossible takes just a little bit longer.”
If I ever say, “I can’t,” he responds, “Eliminate that word from your vocabulary!”
At age 77, he’s slowing down a little, but the word can’t still isn’t in his vocabulary.
Which brings me to Words Matter Week’s Blog Challenge. Each day of the week, the Words Matter blog posts a question and encourages readers to post the response to the question on their own blog. Today’s question is this:
If you had to eliminate one word or phrase from the English language, what would it be? Why?
Jack, my colorful character, taught me the answer to that question, both by words and actions.
I would eliminate the word cannot (can’t) because we are all capable of far more than we give ourselves credit for, and we tend to accomplish what we expect to accomplish. As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
Thanks to Jack, I’ve accomplished far more than I ever expected. Most of all, I’ve enjoyed the journey filled with love and laughter.
I’m very grateful that in the world are such people who make us smile. If I were to eliminate a word from the vocabulary, it will be: sadness. It’s important to see the positive side of things, and to trust that it will be better.
Mia,
Even when people are sad, they can look on the positive side and have hope for things to be better in the future. Sometimes being sad can help us appreciate happiness more when it returns. There are times that we should be sad, for example, when we lose loved ones. Though as a Christian, I know they are in a better place and I will join them someday, I still am sad to miss their companionship here on earth.
May you loan to me your word…can’t/cannot? My mindset has been anchored on pessimism that it is difficult to change it. I am battling against it. And guess what…I CAN beat it.
Yes, Ron, you CAN beat it! You’re welcome to share our word.
A wonderful lesson from a great man, Lillie! I’m glad you’ve had a cheering squad with you throughout your trial periods, fun periods, and just-plain-everyday periods – it makes things so much easier and entertaining, don’t it?
A tip o’ the hat to you and Jack! (and thanks for the WILF entry!)
Robert Hruzek´s last blog ..A Bubba Named Hollis
Thanks, Robert. I know you’ve been blessed with Mrs. MZM as I have with Jack.
Knock on the wood but so nice man he is. Its not so natural to see so much of binding in every relation. Though I am young but would like to see myself having the same relation with my spouse.
Den´s last blog ..Travel Business looks promising for Home Based Business
Den,
I wish you the same kind of relationship with your spouse that Jack and I have. The first key is to be wise in choosing your spouse, then be totally committed to the marriage.
Great post! I think I would like Jack!
Dominique´s last blog ..Why 4Walls and A View?
Thanks, Dominique. If you like people with a good sense of humor, you’ll certainly like Jack.
Lillie, your colorful character sounds like a wonderful man and your description had me smiling as I’m sure I would if I were in the presence of you two.My mother always told me never say you can’t but that you’ll try. I needed the reminder today, thank you.
Karen,
I’m glad the post made you smile, and I’m glad to hear your mother taught you a similar philosophy.
Wow. I really enjoyed this post. It made me smile. Thanks for making my day.
Deb S´s last blog ..Break through your fears and Blast Off to a new life
Deb,
I’m delighted the post made you smile. As you can imagine, I do that a lot.
That’s exactly what my father used to say to me when I was little. Whenever I was hurt, or crying, because I had to do something I couldn’t, and told him that, he used to say, “There is no such thing as “I can’t do” “. He also used to call me “my little president” too, instead of “princess” as most usual fathers do, but that’s a whole other story.
)
When I was little, I hated him. You know, as kids do. Now I thank him with all my heart. Because of him I am more resilient and stronger than most of my friends in most matters (like jobs and relationships), can stand up for myself and really, truly believe in myself and my own capacities.
Jenny,
Your father gave you a great gift in teaching you to avoid saying “I can’t” and another in calling you his little president.
Such a sweet blog post and what a wonderful picture! I enjoyed reading this entry. You are very blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. Here’s wishing the both of you many more years of happiness and laughter. God bless!
Thank you, Dawn. We are truly blessed.
Oppression. That is one word I wish had no meaning, thereby meaning the act did not exist. Humanity would be united and no longer had an oppressed nor oppressor.
Your post was a wonderful compliment to your hubby. I too have such a wonderfully, supportive spouse and find it hard not to laugh every day!
He is my biggest fan!
Lisa´s last blog ..Progress is Exhiliarating
Lisa,
I agree with you that I wish there were no oppression.
I’m glad you have a hubby like mine. We are blessed.
Lillie, 43 yrs of happy marriage is astounding and I wish it prevails forever. Kudos, you are inspirational magnum for everyone. I would like to remove the word “impossible”
very similar on your lines. That generates positive vibe and keeps us on the move. what do you think?
Alan@Tulsa Real Estate´s last blog ..Rate Hikes for Electricity Possible
Alan,
I realize how blessed we are.
Impossible is another good candidate for the word to eliminate.
I just had to add my congratulations to you and Jack for being together so long and still loving it ( and each other!).
He sounds like just the sort of guy to have around to keep spirits high and entertain anyone who crosses his path.
Lovely post, Lillie.
Thanks, Jackie. You have Jack pegged!
What a heartwarming story! Everyone should be so lucky!
Mark Dykeman´s last blog ..Thoughts from Michael Bungay Stanier of Box of Crayons
Thanks, Mark. I realize how blessed I am.
Good article. In fact, the mental attitude of “I Can” is a trigger of willpower and introduces profound changes in a person’s life. According to some ancient traditions, this attitude also attracts situations that help us move forward.
Daniel,
A positive, can-do attitude certainly makes a difference.
Wow. I sure hope my marriage can last that long. This is really great advice for us. Thanks again.
Faren,
I recognize how blessed we are and wish you the same blessing of a long marriage.
You are so blessed for having a “colorful character” in your life. He seems like a very wonderful man, who reminds me of my very own partner, who’s also very funny and never fails to lift my spirits up when I need it the most.
Charisse,
I’m glad you’re blessed with your own “colorful character.”
I’m always inspired by stories from people who have managed to have a long, successful marriage. It gives me hope that someday I might find my “Jack” and experience the joy of sharing my life with someone special. Congratulations to you both!
This post has also reminded me of the need to remove “can’t” from my vocabulary and my thinking process. I grew up hearing my grandmother tell me to never say “can’t.” Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten this valuable advice over the years and was badly in need of a reminder.
Your blog is both inspiring and a joy to read. I’ll be bookmarking it so I can check back often to find more great advice. Keep up the good work.
Ven@Reviews, Advice, & Opinions by Ven´s last blog ..Moral Dilemma: What Would You Do?
Ven,
I hope you find your own “Jack.” Maybe eliminating that word “can’t” will help!
Jack sounds like a great guy! Just as studies have shown that music has a definite effect on a persons’ feelings and moods I’m sure that language does too.
Keep your language positive and your thoughts will follow.
Jake @ Hypnosis´s last blog ..The Ultimate Self Hypnosis Script Book!
Jake,
I think everything we surround ourselves with, including music, radio/TV/movies, other people, language, and more, have an effect—good or bad—on our attitudes.
I hope everyone of us will eliminate the word – never. Thanks for reminding us how blessed we are despite the difficult times we have gone through and facing right now.
John,
Never and can’t belong together far away from civilized society.
You and Jack are blessed to have each other Lillie. If I were to eliminate one word from the English language, it would be “negative”. We should always look on the brighter side of things and erase any negative thoughts that may cloud our minds.
Jane,
Yes, we are very blessed to have each other. Negative is closely related to can’t–both are good words to eliminate.
if i would eliminate a word..it cud be: evil and negative…^_^
scarlet,
Evil and negative are good words to eliminate—if you could eliminate what they mean and there was no more evil and negativity in the world.
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