Abject Terror + A Bluff = New Confidence
February 1, 2010 by Lillie
Lori Widmer’ recent post at Words on the Page, Worthwhile Tip: Stop Apologizing , encourages writers to stop doubting themselves.
It reminded me of something totally unrelated to writing, but an event that may well have given me the self-confidence to try anything. I left a comment on Lori’s post but decided to share the story here as well.
I was the first person in my family to go to college, and I was in a work-study program to help pay for my education. I was assigned to the library, and when I showed up to find out what my job would be, the librarian took me into a tiny office. “Your application said you took typing,” she said. “You’ll type the catalog cards for us.”
There was a problem, however—and I’m really dating myself now! The small high school I attended owned only one electric typewriter. We each got to type on it once during the year; the rest of the time, we used the old manual typewriters. We didn’t even get to turn on the electric—the teacher turned it on for us and just let us type a few paragraphs.
As you’ve probably figured out, the typewriter in the library was an electric. I immediately panicked. I saw myself being kicked out of school because I couldn’t do the job, humiliating myself and dashing my family’s dreams of having a member with a college education.
I took a deep breath and asked, “Do you have a manual for this machine? I’m not familiar with this model, and I’d like to read up on it to save time when I start.”
The librarian handed me the book that held the secrets to this challenging piece of equipment. I took it back to my dorm room and read it, re-read it, and studied it. The next day, I reported to work and turned on that typewriter just as if I’d done a hundred times before.
I don’t know if the librarian ever realized I didn’t know what I was doing. She never gave any indication she did, and in a few months, she started giving me the most complicated jobs in the library. She was also the faculty secretary and even had me type the minutes and correspondence for the faculty.
After that, I realized I could do a lot more than I gave myself credit for. To this day, when someone asks if I can do something, I say, “Of course.” Then I go figure out how to do it.
photo credit: alexkerhead
Once again Lillie you prove yourself a practical inspiration
Great story!
Joanna Young´s last blog ..Letting Go and Letting Flow
Thanks, Joanna. Practical inspiration … a nice way to put it.
That was a big bluff, totally opposite of what I did once. I went to this client’s place as an ‘expert’ and was supposed to use a ’simulator’, I had used simulators before but the simulators were always ’self-written’, so I had no idea how to work on a ’standard product’. I apologized, asked the client to take me through the process of using the simulator and right now I have a COOL recommendation on my linked in profile from this customer that says I am honest about what I don’t know, but I am very quick at learning the ropes.
I guess, what you are saying might work in a lot of situations where you have the time to ‘go back and learn’, but when you are in the thick of it, one better be honest
Roger,
If anything I said came across as recommending dishonesty, I didn’t do a very good job of writing.
I certainly didn’t lie—I merely presented the situation in the most positive light possible. My point was to have some confidence in yourself. Obviously, you exuded confidence that even though you didn’t know the specifics, you could do it. You could have just said you couldn’t do and walked away. What you did was very similar to what I did, really—you took the most positive and confident approach to the situation.
My apologies if you thought I was suggesting lying. I did not lie and would never advocate doing so.
Ohh, I LOVE this. And not just because it reminds me of the day we had typewriters. Yanno. Before computers were invented. I miss my ol’ electric typewriter. Thank you for sharing this story. You handled that situation well.
Thanks, Dawn. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
Very inspiring post.. Confidence is really important if you really wanna see yourself in the future as being successful.. the moral lesson of this story is really very inspiring!
Sallie Holiday´s last blog ..Holiday Cottage in Cornwall
Sallie,
Confidence is critical. Most of us are capable of far more than we give ourselves credit for.
i love your story…it came me to realize how hard things if there’s no technology…it’s hard to type on a typewriter, you can’t easily correct wrong letters that you’ve typed..that’s why i hate typewriter but i learned how to use it..
Cindy Domingo´s last blog ..Castle
Cindy,
I’m thankful for computers. I’m not sure I would have ever become a writer if I had to type the manuscript over and over again! I wrote about that in an earlier post: Can you remember … or imagine … life without spell check or life with a manual typewriter?
Yes, pretending to have the confidence even if you don’t eventually works. In the end no one will know if you trembled with fear while doing what you have to do as long as the job is done satisfactorily. Amazingly, it always end up satisfactorily in my case.
Ron,
I love this line in your comment: “No one knows if you trembled in fear.” So true!
Thanks for the link love, Lillie. And I agree with your approach. I’d do the same – I have.
I preach to these kids and this husband all the time about extending beyond your comfort zone and really experiencing new things. What better way than to take on something new with confidence and more than a little terror? 
)
Lori´s last blog ..Listen Up!
Lori,
Thank you for the inspiration to write this. Your excellent post reminded me of this incident.
Your story is inspiring. I always see myself as someone incapable of doing task I am not trained of. I guess, I would do just what you did. Try and Never give up!
Andre,
I probably wouldn’t have done what I had if I hadn’t been desperate. Of course, now I know that if I hadn’t been able to the assigned job, the college would have found me a different position for my work-study program. But at that time, I really believed I would be kicked out of school for lack of funds if I couldn’t do what I was asked to do.
Like so many things that seem bad at the time, however, it turned out for the good. After that experience, I was no longer afraid to try something I hadn’t done before.
You don’t have to be desperate to take that step.
my opinion
“when someone asks if I can do something, I say, “Of course.” Then I go figure out how to do it”
for me i never said of course for something unplanned
because usually i mess up everything
tommy,
There’s a lot of truth in the saying, “If you think you can, you can; if you think you can’t, you can’t.” Certainly we can’t do everything, but most people can do a lot more than they give themselves credit for.
In the software development business, of which I’m unfortunately a part, knowing a particular set of facts is generally seen as less important than being able to learn things quickly – as one of the comments above mine is alluding to. This can be a double-edged sword, however. I got myself a job working in an antique language called Visual Fox Pro ( this hails from the time of the Neanderthals in Europe, who would make stone punch cards to control the software ); during the interview they asked if I’d ever used VFP before. My answer was “No, but it can’t be that difficult. I’ve used plenty of other software development languages before.” Oh, how wrong I was…
Forrest´s last blog ..Granite Mountain Lookout
Forrest,
I love the stone punch cards.
Even though it was difficult, I’ll bet you eventually figured it out.
People like and respect confident people. As you become more confident you’ll find others are more attentive to what you say and more willingly to help you out. And that is one of the most important reasons to put an end to lacking confidence. Life is more enjoyable and its easier to get ahead when you get the respect you deserve. Its like walking with the wind at your back instead of walking headfirst into a gale.
Rob@Mortgage Comparison´s last blog ..Five Easy Steps for In Comparing Mortgage Deals
Rob,
I was lucky to learn this lesson at a young age so long ago.
I was actually giving similar advice to a friend’s girlfriend a while back. She is seriously lacking in confidence, and we were telling her that you need to jump in with both feet, its the best way to learn and get ahead. Say “yes, of course” followed by frantic learning when nobody is looking.
janet @ best electric shaver´s last blog ..Best electric shaver…
janet,
Good advice. Obviously there are situations where this attitude doesn’t work—I wouldn’t attempt to perform surgery or fly a plane.
But in many situations, especially those related to your profession, you can quickly learn what you need to know.
Nothing is impossible in this world, At the starting you may face problems but after overcome all this problems you will become master and thats for sure. Here Lillie exactly did the same thing. Confidence is the main key for the success.
rosy,
Confidence is indeed important; however, I believe faith is also important,and it’s faith that gives us confidence.
I am not a writer (but still hoping to be one), I am a mother of 5 kids. Being a writer had been something of a frustration for me. I like writing about things but it didn’t made it through anywhere but my journal. I didn’t have the guts. I envy you for having the courage to take on everything. I didn’t have. That’s why I am here. Reading about people who had the guts to do what they want to do and successfully made it through.
khaye,
Sometimes you just have to step out and do something … even when you’re terrified.
If you write, you are a writer. You may not be a professional writer, but you are a writer. None of us was very good when we started, but all of us who kept trying got better. Give yourself permission to write badly—that’s the only way you’ll ever learn to write well.
Keep coming back for encouragement and writing tips, and keep writing, even if it’s just short entries in your journal. Every word you write is helping you gain confidence and write better.
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