Let’s End Domestic Violence
October 24, 2009 by Lillie
Table of contents for Domestic Violence Awareness
As part of my efforts through the Million Voices Campaign, I am sharing information and resources about domestic violence during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
You will find many startling statistics on the Web site of the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH), including the following:
CDC Adverse Health Conditions and Health Risk Behaviors Associated with Intimate Partner Violence – United States 2005
-
- Each year, intimate partner violence (IPV) results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women and nearly 600,000 injuries among men.
- 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men aged 18 years or more have a lifetime history of intimate partner violence victimization.
- Highest percentage for women is adults aged 45-54 (31.2%)
- Highest percentage for men is adults aged 25-34 (21.4%)
These appalling statistics are for the United States, but domestic violence is a critical problem around the world.
Those of us who have never experienced abuse may find it difficult to understand why a woman—or man—who is being abused doesn’t just leave. However, the abuser has likely isolated the victim from family and friends, destroyed their self-confidence, and instilled such fear that the person being abused feels helpless. Also, the physical danger increases when a woman tries to get away from an abuser.
NDVH even has a quick-escape button on its Web site so someone can get away from the site to a totally unrelated site in case their abuser discovers them. The Web site also warns that Internet usage can be monitored, and if the visitor fears for their safety to call the hotline [1-800-799-SAFE(7233)] rather than risk having their visit to the site discovered.
It breaks my heart to think of anyone living in that kind of danger and fear. We must do all we can to save every victim, and that means we have to understand the problem and what can be done about it.
You can find excellent information and resources about domestic violence on the Internet. In addition to the NDVAM and NDVH sites, the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women has extensive links to all kinds of information.
When I started doing the research for Dream or Destiny, I spent hours following link after link. What I learned appalled me, but the first-person accounts of abuse victims touched my heart and motivated me to do something.
The first thing I did was to write my story. I hope Dream or Destiny is an intriguing mystery and a compelling romance. I hope it also educates readers about domestic violence and motivates them to want to help as well.
During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am donating $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for every sale of Dream or Destiny. I will also give every purchaser a free e-book of Fern’s Fancies as a thank-you for helping me do something.
You can order Dream or Destiny from the publisher, Amazon.com, or directly from me. If you order directly from me, I will make the donation and send your e-book from the information on the order. If you order from the publisher or Amazon.com, please complete the form below so I can send you the e-book and make the donation.
Note: request form removed 11/1/09 as promotion is over.
These statistics sadden me. As a doctor who deals with a lot of female patients, though not in the aspect of other doctors, but the fact that some women may be being abused just sickens me.
Chris,
Knowing and being concerned about the issue can make a difference. If you know the signs of abuse, you may be able to help someone—a patient, a friend, even a family member.
Somehow, this feels like a disease that has been around forever and can’t be eliminated. I’m glad you’re emphasizing it. It needs more attention and needs to be stopped. And, yes, I know I’m asking a lot.
Helen
Straight From Hel
Helen Ginger@writer editor´s last blog ..Book Review: The Lost Symbol
Helen,
It has been around forever, but the difference is now it’s recognized as being wrong. Old English law used to dictate the size of stick a man could use to beat his wife and children. Beating family members was perfectly acceptable as long as the rod wasn’t too big—and if I remember correctly from my research, the size that was allowed was pretty large.
So we are making progress. There are still some people who believe the man should rule the home and “punish” his wife and children using physical force. But most people know that domestic violence is wrong.
On the other hand, people can be too zealous—though that’s a risk we have to take. Better someone be falsely accused and investigated than to ignore abuse.
My niece is profoundly handicapped—paralyzed from the waist down with the mental capacity of about a six-year-old. My sister always taught to be as independent as possible, with the result that today in her 30′s, she has a job in a sheltered workshop and does more for herself than anyone would expect. However, when she was still a child, neighbors reported my sister and brother-in-law for child abuse because they made my niece put her dishes on the tray of her wheelchair and take them to the sink after every meal. The neighbors thought this handicapped child should not be required to do anything. They considered it child abuse that her parents tried to give her self-esteem and the ability to do as much as she could. Of course, the Child Protective Service investigation exonerated my sister and her husband, but being accused of child abuse was a painful experience for them.
However, they would encourage anyone who suspects abuse to report it. As painful as a false accusation is, it’s even worse to ignore real abuse.
Almost all of the women I’ve known in my life have told me stories about domestic abuse, whether it has happened to them or someone they’ve known. It really, really saddens me that this is a problem in our society- we should know better!
Christian,
The statistics are so high that most of us will know several people who are abusers and several who are victim. It sounds like a higher-than-average number of women of your acquaintance have experienced domestic violence. Oddly, I don’t have knowledge of anyone close to me being a victim or an abuser, but this problem is a top priority for me.
Domestic violence is a serious problem, especially among certain immigrant populations. For example, I used to work for an agency that taught Somali women that they could get help against domestic abuse, and to whom they could turn to for help. These women didn’t even know there was help available to them. I think a lot of them, in their country of origin, just took the abuse without recourse.
Patrick,
That’s an important point. There is a special section for immigrants on one the Web sites mentioned in the post. In many parts of the world husbands/fathers have the right to beat wives and children without recourse. That’s the way it was everywhere in the world for centuries. Just convincing victims that they are being abused—that what is being done to them is not acceptable—can be a challenge.
It’s my first time to hear about this campaign (could be world wide campaign). Though, this campaign has taken seriously now because of the increasing rate of domestic violence. Most especially among women. 24/7 hotlines had always been there.
As for the immigrants (as stated above), the embassy of your country is the number option where you can report for domestic violence.
Hopefully, all of these will come to an end. As citizens, we must do our part to save and not to ruin lives of other people.
Antoinette Taus´s last blog ..Toned Abs: Debunking the Myths that Hold you Back
Antoinette,
Thank you for your perspective. However, the research I have done not support your ideas.
The reporting of domestic violence has increased. However, it is not clear that actual instances have increased because for many years and in many cultures what is now recognized as domestic violence was considered the norm. There were no ways to report abuse because there was not any reason to report it—it was not illegal.
Regarding immigrants, the country’s embassy is not always a good place to report domestic violence for two reasons: 1) the abuse is most likely perpetrated by one immigrant from that country against another immigrant from the same country; and 2) many of the cultures of the immigrants’ home countries do not object to domestic violence. It would not be an offense in the home country; in fact, in some cultures and religions, the man has the moral obligation to “discipline” his family by violent means. The result of a victim’s reporting abuse to the embassy could be that the authority of the home country’s government would be added to the power of the abuser.
Lillie, the statistics conveys a shocking message. I never thought domestic violence by intimate partners can be this dreadful. I knew several cases which were severe, but this numbers are really alarming. Its quite pathetic and I feel awful when I think that I am living in such a world. And if you closely observe men of age group 25-34 is highly attacked. Unbelievable. I am quite uncertain on this world’s future.
Mack@Las Vegas Real Estate´s last blog ..Commercial Real Estate Bubble
Mack,
The statistics are shocking. I guess I’ve led a very sheltered life because I don’t have personal knowledge of anyone who has been abused. Yet there are statistics from many different sources on the NDVH, and while there are some variations in specific numbers, all the sources reflect the same horrifying high numbers.
We have come a long way over the years on domestic violence, but there is still a lot more work to do. Kudos for working for such a great cause.
Tracy@medifast1.com´s last blog ..MediFast Fast Facts
Tracy,
Yes, we have come a long way from the time when a man could beat his wife and children and it was considered normal. But, as you say, there is a long way to go.
This must be stopped. Violence has nothing to do with love and any kind of relationship….
Susan,
Abuse is all about power and control, not love.
1200 deaths! Those are horrifying statistics, and I think that you are helping out so many people simply by publishing them. Obviously, if someone is in an abusive relationship, then hopefully this will shock them into realizing that they need to get help.
C,
The statistics are horrifying and must motivate us to try to do something to help.
“These appalling statistics are for the United States, but domestic violence is a critical problem around the world.” you’re so right. When will women learn that they don’t have to accept all this treataments?
Anne,
Unfortunately, even women who know they don’t deserve it and never expect it to happen to them can fall victim. The abusers usually start gradually and isolate the victim and beat them down a little at a time until the victim doesn’t know where to turn.
I will never understand men who beat women. Most of the men are more powerfull than women, what do they have to prove???
Bernard Marti´s last blog ..Les nouveaux virus informatiques
Bernard,
Abuse is all about control. Abusers must prove, at least to themselves, that they are in control.
So which company, government that can be trust to help them? there are some country their boss is always on the right path, even though they (domestic) abused..
Kyle´s last blog ..Is F.E.A.R. Running Your Life?
Kyle,
For immediate help and protection, a victim should call the police. Long-term, there are a number of organizations that help victims get out of abusive situations. See the last post in this domestic violence series for resources.
Thanks for the quick reply @ Lillie, domestic abused if very common on other countries like some part of middle east.. based on my friend who work there..
Kyle´s last blog ..Ground And Weather Conditions As Important Factors In Horse Racing Results
Kyle,
Yes, in certain parts of the world, domestic violence is more common and not recognized as being wrong.
Hayz.. the question is do we really or do they really can end this “Domestic Violence” if yes how? what are the actions that need to end the violence..
Kyle´s last blog ..Tips to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking
Kyle,
I think the first step is awareness. For far too long, people, law enforcement, and lawmakers didn’t recognize the seriousness of the problem. Although we’ll never stop abusers completely, we can prevent a great deal of the abuse, help the victims get out, and lock up the abusers to protect victims.
Its true domestic violence cannot be allowed to happen in any society or country of this world
Vinish´s last blog ..Money Measurement Concept
Vinish,
I would love to think we could totally end domestic violence, but I’m afraid we won’t ever end violence of any kind as long as there are evil people in the world. But we can certainly do all we can to stop it, which will reduce the violence, protect victims, and punish perpetrators.
sad to say that their are still some who still suffered til now, why, because most of them can’t leave that house simply they just locked it..
jonna´s last blog ..LEATHER JACKETS IN FASHION AND UTILITY
jonna,
Some are locked up physically and many more are locked up emotionally.
I live in asia and I think in a lot of the countries here the problem is worse because in general the woman is subservient to the husband. The other problem is that the law is often towards the mans side.
Peter Morford´s last blog ..Kodak Playsport Review
Peter,
Sadly, some cultures do have more of a problem because of the traditional relationships between men and women and the legal standing of the two genders.
Responses to this post: