Domestic Violence and You

As Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to an end, I hope you have learned more about this serious problem. But, as one reader asked in a comment on an earlier post in this series, the question is this: What can we do?

Here are some suggestions on how you and I can help:

• Be aware: know what domestic violence is and understand the pervasiveness and seriousness of the problem.
• Know the signs of abuse and be alert for them in people you know.
• Take action if you see signs that make you suspect someone is being abuse.
• Find resources and more resources and even more resources.
• Join the Million Voices Campaign to help raise awareness and advocate for the cause.
• Contribute to organizations that work to raise awareness, prevent abuse, and support victims.
• Comment (with a relevant comment using a real name) on this or any post in this series by midnight Central time October 31, 2009, and I will donate $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH). Order a copy of Dream or Destiny, and I will donate another $5 to NDVH.

No one should live in fear or die at the hands of someone who is supposed to love them.

Make a Comment and I’ll Make a Donation

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts in this series, I will donate  $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) for every copy of Dream or Destiny sold during the month of October.

However, not everyone who reads and comments here is interested in my book. I can’t imagine why—it’s the Great American Novel, and if you enjoy reading my blog, you must like my writing style.  If you don’t enjoy reading romance or mystery yourself, surely someone on your Christmas list would love a romantic mystery novel personally signed for them. But, alas, as difficult as it is for me to imagine, some of you don’t want my book. And some of you already have a copy.

Those of you who don’t want to read or give my book can still support the fight against domestic violence simply by leaving a relevant comment.  For every relevant comment left on any post in this series by midnight Central Time on October 31, 2009, I will add $5 to my donation to NDVH.

You can still order Dream or Destiny and leave a comment. I will donate $10 ($5 for your purchase and $5 for your comment). I will also send you a free romance e-book, Fern’s Fancies.

National Domestic Violence Month is coming to an end, but unfortunately the serious problem isn’t going away—yet. Let’s do all we can to bring an end of domestic violence.

Christians and Domestic Violence

When Bluestocking interviewed me on her podcast during my blog book tour, she raised an interesting question. She asked how I would respond to someone who blames domestic violence on Christianity. She explained this issue came up in a law school class on domestic violence, and she had been surprised at how many people said Christianity caused domestic violence.

People who are hostile to Christianity will use any excuse to blame Christian faith and practice for anything and everything. Unfortunately, there are people who claim to be Christians who give ammunition to the critics. In Dream or Destiny, David’s father claimed he had the moral right as the head of the Christian family to discipline his wife and children using violence. David turned against religion until he left home and came in contact with true believers and realized that his father’s words and actions were the opposite of the teachings of Christ. The abuser’s excuse was just that—an excuse, not a justification.

St. Paul’s words in Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5 are often misinterpreted to mean that the husband should completely control the wife.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18, NIV

However, the rest of the passage is frequently ignored by those hostile to Christian faith and by those using the Bible as an excuse for abuse.

 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.  ~ Colossians 3:19-21, NIV

The word submit does not mean subject yourself to abuse. Submit means to yield to the authority of someone else or to defer to another’s judgement. In any organization—a business, a club, a government, a family—the buck has to stop somewhere. Someone has to make decisions.

The owner of a business will probably surround himself with talented people he trusts. He will solicit and consider their advice. He will probably authorize them to make many decisions independently. However, the business owner retains the authority to make the final decision on major issues. He has the responsibility of the success of the company, but he values his employees and heeds their opinions.

In the same way, a Christian husband will discuss decisions with his wife. If they don’t agree, she can try to persuade him to her way of thinking. A good husband will listen to his wife and give serious consideration to her ideas. However, if they continue to disagree and a decision has to be made, the husband’s vote is the tie-breaker.

A Christian husband who is sincerely striving to follow God’s will shows respect for his wife and prays about his decisions. He will never abuse his wife or children. Rather, he will do everything in his power to love, nurture, and protect them.

Unfortunately, many churches fail to recognize domestic violence in their congregations. The book Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence describes the experiences of a woman who was abused by her pastor husband. Although I’m not in complete agreement with some of the theology author Jocelyn E Andersen espouses, I think it is important for Christians to be aware that domestic violence can happen within the church. An abused woman needs spiritual help, of course, but she also needs help to get out of a dangerous, life-threatening situation.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am trying to do my part to raise awareness of this serious problem everywhere it exists, including the church.

I am donating $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for every copy of Dream or Destiny sold during the month of October. 

I will also give every purchaser a free e-book of Fern’s Fancies as a thank-you for supporting my efforts to raise money to fight domestic violence.

You can order Dream or Destiny from the publisher, Amazon.com, or directly from me. If you order directly from me, I will make the donation and send your e-book from the information on the order. If you order from the publisher or Amazon.com, please complete the form below so I can send you the e-book and make the donation.

Note: request form removed 11/1/09 as promotion is over.

Let’s End Domestic Violence

As part of my efforts through the Million Voices Campaign, I am sharing information and resources about domestic violence during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

You will find many startling statistics on the Web site of the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH), including the following:

CDC  Adverse Health Conditions and Health Risk Behaviors Associated with Intimate Partner Violence – United States 2005

• Each year, intimate partner violence (IPV) results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women and nearly 600,000 injuries among men.
• 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men aged 18 years or more have a lifetime history of intimate partner violence victimization.
• Highest percentage for women is adults aged 45-54 (31.2%)
• Highest percentage for men is adults aged 25-34 (21.4%)

These appalling statistics are for the United States, but domestic violence is a critical problem around the world.

Those of us who have never experienced abuse may find it difficult to understand why a woman—or man—who is being abused doesn’t just leave. However, the abuser has likely isolated the victim from family and friends, destroyed their self-confidence, and instilled such fear that the person being abused feels helpless. Also, the physical danger increases when a woman tries to get away from an abuser.

NDVH even has a quick-escape button on its Web site so someone can get away from the site to a totally unrelated site in case their abuser discovers them. The Web site also warns that Internet usage can be monitored, and if the visitor fears for their safety to call the hotline [1-800-799-SAFE(7233)] rather than risk having their visit to the site discovered.

It breaks my heart to think of anyone living in that kind of danger and fear. We must do all we can to save every victim, and that means we have to understand the problem and what can be done about it.

You can find excellent information and resources about domestic violence on the Internet. In addition to the NDVAM and NDVH sites, the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women has extensive links to all kinds of information.

 When I started doing the research for Dream or Destiny, I spent hours following link after link. What I learned appalled me, but the first-person accounts of abuse victims touched my heart and motivated me to do something.

The first thing I did was to write my story. I hope Dream or Destiny is an intriguing mystery and a compelling romance. I hope it also educates readers about domestic violence and motivates them to want to help as well.

During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am donating $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for every sale of Dream or Destiny. I will also give every purchaser a free e-book of Fern’s Fancies as a thank-you for helping me do something.

You can order Dream or Destiny from the publisher, Amazon.com, or directly from me. If you order directly from me, I will make the donation and send your e-book from the information on the order. If you order from the publisher or Amazon.com, please complete the form below so I can send you the e-book and make the donation.

Note: request form removed 11/1/09 as promotion is over.

Any Poets Interested in Helping Young Writers?

The EPIC New Voices writing competition for middle school and high school writers received a record number of entries, especially in the poetry categories.

Consequently, we need more poetry judges. Every entry is scored by three judges, including at least one EPIC member. Every judge must be a published writer, editor, publisher, teacher, and/or librarian.

Judging doesn’t take much time. Middle school entries are limited to a maximum of 20 lines per poem, and high school entries are limited to a maximum of 30 lines per poem. Judges are asked to rate four elements—structure, rhythm, imagery, and originality—as excellent, good, fair, or poor. The most important thing judges are asked to do is to write a comment on each score sheet that is encouraging to the young writer. Suggestions for improvement should be included, if appropriate, but positive comments must be included.

Although I haven’t seen this year’s entries yet, in years past, many talented students submitted great writing. Judging will inspire you with enthusiasim for the writers of the future as well as give you the opportunity to help and encourage teen writers.

To volunteer to judge, complete the application form on the New Voices Web site.  You can choose whether you will judge middle or high school entries (or both) as well as specify the number of entries you will judge. Though the judging form lists all categories, we have enough judges in the essay and short story categories.

Entries will be sent to the judges on November 3, 2009 and scores must be returned by November 24, 2009.

Thank you for supporting young writers.

Thanks to September Commenters

Thank you to the 182 commenters who left 256 comments in September. This is more comments from more commenters than in August, when I still allowed comments from keywords. I’m glad to see that requiring names didn’t slow down the comments. Your comments extended the conversation and added value and interest, and I enjoy replying to every one of them.
Top Contributor (17 comments)
Jeanne Dininni	Writers’ Notes
Major Contributors (13 comments)
C McCoffee	The Coffee Bump
Mack	Vegas 4 Sale
Outstanding Contributor (11 comments)
wilson	Will You Mind
Significant Contributors (2-5 comments)
Si	Leadership Expert
Louise	Brochures Printing Online
RW	Free Online Speed Reading Test
Andrew	Good Honest Dollar
Barbara Ling	Virtual Coach
Carl	Micfo
Greg	John Lennon T-Shirt
Mark88online	Ottawa Online Marketing
Anders	Moore-Wilson
Andrej	Gorenje
Andrej	Slovenia Holidays
Bluestocking	The Bluestocking Guide
Cath Lawson	Cath Lawson
Chris Jones	Gadgets 4 Free
Dharma	Bale Bali
Francis	Living Room Warehouse
inapaler	Desktop Tube
Jeremy Craven	Block Shopper
karamjit	Consumer Court Forum
Lance	Live2care
Laura	Writing Thoughts
Mark	Uncorked Adventures
Matt Keegan	Word Journey
Paul Hancox	Copysnips
Peter	Forex Robot Reviews
Russ	Baby Video Monitor Blog
Sandra	1800 Pet Meds Blog
Spot	Spot Cool Stuff
Steve	Lift Chair Guide
Terry	Pulse Uniform
victorcrums	Tips to Beauty
xochitl	Belfast Northern Ireland Hotels
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Aaron	Business Minder
Abigail	Free College Admissions Essays
Abigail Johnson	Essay Writer
Adam Sincki	Rent Property Direct
Al	LÅN og KREDITTKORT
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Ana	Best AntiWrinkle Cream
Andrej	Red Orbit
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Andy	Forex Trading Robot Reviews
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Anna	Bukisa: Against School Uniforms
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Audrey Ross	Miami Real Estate
Barbie	Great Kid Gifts
Ben	Open Moon Project
Bert	Digital Room
Bert	Uprinting
Bill	Broad College of Business MSU
Bill	Learn About Skin Care Products
Blake	Favor Ideas
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Bob	Essay Writer
bobbac	Norton Snap Fitness
bondy	Colour Printers
Brad Shorr	Word Sell, Inc
Bralynn	Moving Blankets & Moving Blankets Rental Guide
Carry	99Bytes
cedric	Espress Giftz
Colm	Mobile
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David	Pandora Graduate Admission Essay Samples
Dean Birinyi	Dean J. Birinyi Photography
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Diaz	Buy Electric Guitar
DJ	Bible College Guide
Elin B.	n/a
Elizabeth	Personal Statement Medical School
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Engel	Background Unlimited
Eric	Datacolor
Evan	Fence Gates Railing
Gary	Acai Berry Hub
Glenn	Successful Candle Making
Greg	Horse Tack Saddle Supplies
Greg Satell	Digital Tonto
Irene	99 Bytes
Jackie Cameron	Consult Cameron
Jacob	Chronic Bad Breath Cure Club
Jake	Gift Zip
James	32 LED TV
James	Cheap Wine Glasses
James Stone	James Stone on Noovo
Janice	Obayoo
Jaxrolo	Heavenly Bible Covers
Jen	Concierge VA
Jennifer	How Does Refinancing Work
Jenny	Ms Small Business
Jeremy	Fantasy Novels
Jim	ChiroWrite
Joanne Richardson	Flashlight Coupon
Joe C	Select Your Franchise
John	Become Taller
John	Buy Pink Mobile
John Skoob	Worldwide Book Drive
Jonathan	Frugalocal
Juergen Sober	Kreditrechner-4u
Karen Putz	A Deaf Mom Shares Her World
Karen Swim	Words for Hire
Ken Lowman	Luxury Homes of Las Vegas
Kelly	Software Business Partners
Kenny	Commodity Calendar
Kevin	n/a
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likhary	Affilitate Training Online
Linda	Slimming Resources
Lola	All About Memory Foam & Latex Mattresses
Lorren	All Star Realty
Lowell	Lowell.com
Luna	About Baby Monitors
Mark	Current Gold Prices Today
Marq	Uprinting
Matt	Sword Wares
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Meryl K. Evans	Meryl.net
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Mickey	Paid in 14 Days
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Morgan Mandel	Morgan Mandel
Neeraj Kaushik	Letterhead Glass
Nicolas	Mange in Dogs
Nicole	BackgroundCheckRecordSearch
Patt	Los Recursos Humanos
Paul Smith	Lithuania Travel Guide
Peter	Hostelio
Peter Bang	CC Logic
Purva	Accident Claims Care
Radford Brown	Recovery Bull
raphael	Conversational Hypnosis
Rebecca	Wine Aerators
Remonto	Meistras
Renae Brumbaugh	Morning Coffee with Renae
Richard	Get-White-Teeth
Richard Anderson	Free Info 2 Go
Rick	Tutors Kingdom
robertslucker	Find the Person Behind the Phone Number
Robert Hruzek	Middle Zone Musings
Roger	Lan Penger til det du trenger
Rok Mijak	Umetnine
Ronnica	Ignorant Historian
Rory	Miracles or Magic
Sally Ferguson	Sally’s Words
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Sandra	Kredit Darlehen Rechner
Sandra	Whisper from Wall Street
Sean Patrick	UK 2 USA
Shane	Master Dayton Freelance Writing
Shelley Seale	Weight of Silence
Sim	Home-Based Travel Business
Simon	Crystal New Age
Snv	Snv Infotech
Ste	My Free PS3
Stephen	Free Gadgets World
Stephanie	Grin
Stu	Canadian Hair Transplant Center
Suzanne	Parenting
Tjameson	Loose Diamonds for Sale
Ted	Protect Your Home
Ted	Salt Lake Movers
Tom	Panther Music
Tracey	DVDs Online Rental Review
Tyler W	Bio Solutions
VH	Virtual Hires
Warren P. Bonds	Quadrantepp
Wayan Tulus	Wayan Tulus
Wendy	Tuva Box
William	Personal Statement Law School
Yondie	Project Literacy

Million Voices Campaign

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had no idea when I started writing that domestic violence would play any part in Dream or Destiny. When David (the hero of the story) started telling me about the abuse he and his sister suffered, I pointed out the story wasn’t about domestic violence. (Yes, I argue with my characters when they talk back to me.) However, I decided to do a little research so I could put in just enough information to shut David up. I had some knowledge of abuse from reading the lessons my husband had to study to keep his law enforcement certification active.

However, in my research, I came across first-person accounts from victims of domestic violence, and I realized my character was leading me in the right direction. The abuse David and Barbara experienced had to become a major part of the story. Perhaps through my story, readers will gain a better understanding of domestic violence. In a small way, I could become a voice for domestic violence victims.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is seeking many more voices.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline and campaign founding partner General Federation of Women’s Clubs, along with many individuals and organizations, are dedicated to signing up one million people who are willing to educate, inform, and raise awareness about the problem of domestic violence and the programs that can help.

I have joined the Million Voices Campaign to help raise awareness of domestic violence. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I encourage you to  learn more about domestic violence, and if you’re as distressed as I am about the problem, join the Million Voices Campaign.

I don’t have any personal or professional experience with domestic violence. However, Bluestocking, who has been a domestic violence victims’ advocate, said this in her review of Dream or Destiny:

I think the author did an excellent job with developing his psychology throughout the book.  I have extensive personal experience with Domestic Violence, and I can tell you none of David’s story is farfetched.

If you enjoy romance and mystery, you can learn more about domestic violence as you read Dream or Destiny for enjoyment. I will donate $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for every copy of the novel that is sold during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

To thank you for your purchase and the opportunity for me to make a donation, I will send you an e-book of the contemporary romance, Fern’s Fancies.

If you purchase an autographed copy of Dream or Destiny directly from me, I will automatically e-mail your e-book and make the donation. If you order from GASLight Publishing, LLC or Amazon.com, contact me using the request form to let me know where you bought the book; I will make a donation to the NDVH and send your free e-book.

Freelance Rates Survey Reminder

I’m planning a series on freelance writing and editing rates. Freelancers want to know what others charge, and potential clients want to know how much to expect a project to cost.

As mentioned in a previous post, I am trying to collect real-world data from freelance writers and editors through a short anonymous online survey.

There are only six multiple-choice questions:

How long have you freelanced part-time or full-time?

What kind of freelancer are you—writer, editor, both?

How do you find freelance jobs?

How do you price your work—hourly, project, bid, etc.?

What is your standard hourly or word rate?

Do you post your rates?

An optional seventh question gives you the opportunity to add comments and further information.

The more responses I get, the more valuable the information will be. If you are a freelance writer and/or editor (part-time or full-time), please complete the survey and encourage fellow freelancers to do the same.

Clergy Appreciation Day: Appreciating My Clergy

On Clergy Appreciation Day, I want to express my personal appreciation for the clergy at my church, All Saints Anglican: Father Chip Harper and Father Ed Morgan.

In a post on a previous Clergy Appreciation Day, I told more about these two men of God.

The Bible tells us:

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. ~ Hebrews 13:7 (NIV)

One of the best things we can do for our clergy is to pray:

ALMIGHTY God, giver of all good things, who by thy Holy Spirit hast appointed divers Orders of Ministers in thy Church; Mercifully behold thy servants Father Chip and Father Ed and so replenish them with the truth of thy Doctrine, and adorn them with innocency of life, that, both by word and good example, they may faithfully serve thee in their Office, to the glory of thy Name, and the edification of thy Church; through the merits of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the same Holy Spirit, world without end. Amen.

Young Writers: Hurry to Enter New Voices

The deadline for New Voices, EPIC’s writing competition for teen writers is October 20, 2009. Students can enter poetry, short stories, and essays for cash prizes for winners and feedback for every entrant.

You want to enter your best work, which means giving yourself plenty of time to edit.The deadline is only a couple of weeks away, so if you haven’t already started, now is the time. If you’re the parent, teacher, friend, or loved one of a student interested in writing, please tell them about this opportunity. 

You will find guidelines and the entry form on the New Voices Web site.

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