What I Learned from Stress
October 12, 2008 by Lillie
- photo credit: Bhernandez
Stress. We all deal with it on a regular basis.
Some stress is good. Right now, I’m stressed as I plan my book launch party and schedule my blog book tour … and wonder if anyone will buy my book. That stress pushes me to be more productive so the launch of Dream or Destiny is a success.
Some stress is not good. In fact, it can be downright bad for both our emotional and physical health. Worry about the current economic crisis. Trying to meet unreasonable demands from clients. Computer crashes. Natural disasters. The death of a loved one. The breakup of a relationship. And on and on and on.
We can’t eliminate stress from our lives, and we can’t ensure that all stress will be good. We can, however, choose how to respond to stress. We can let it destroy our health and well-being or we can respond with resilience.
When I find myself getting frazzled over things that are beyond my control, I know that it’s time to recharge my spiritual batteries. I need to turn to God—to read His Word and talk to Him in prayer. Even in the most stressful situations, He will give me His peace that passes understanding.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, NIV)
O MOST loving Father, who willest us to give thanks for all things, to dread nothing but the loss of thee, and to cast all our care on thee, who carest for us; Preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, give us thy peace that passes understanding, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which thou hast manifested unto us in thy Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
This post is an entry in the What I Learned from Stress group writing project at Middle Zone Musings.
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I guess that was most people should do when they are stressed - lean back and take a deep breath (I guess that’s essentially what you are doing, when you read/pray).
Paul,
In addition to leaning back and taking a deep breath, I am calling on God for help and calm. But for anyone who isn’t a believer, just leaning back and taking a deep breath will probably benefit.
I can’t deny that maybe, some stress do us good.But I hate the feeling of being stressed.
Emma,
I think the good stress doesn’t feel quite the same as the bad stress—we feel excited and happy.
Thank you so much, Lillie, for sharing your thoughts with us once again! Hey, I can appreciate deadlines! But I think in this case, you win!
Congratulations on the new book!
By the way, two of my favorite stress-busting verses are Jer. 33:3 and Jer. 29:11. Always a source of comfort, no matter what the circumstances.
Cheers!
Robert
Robert,
Those two verses from Jeremiah are great. How reassuring to know that God has plans to prosper us, give us hope and a future. And what a blessing that God answers us when we call on Him and tells us “great and unsearchable things” that we don’t know!
Lillie, this is a beautiful, thoughtful post. And yes, that is how I deal with stress, as well.
Funny how we can have that verse memorized: “Be anxious for nothing, but in all things, through prayer and petition, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Yet how easily we forget, sometimes. I’m so glad God is patient with me!
Renae,
You’re so right. I’m also glad God is patient with me!
Nice to know other people who has same opinion with me. Praying is what I used to do to overcome my depression. By praying to God, I can relief my stress and usually when I get calm down I can have the solution of my problems.
Vicky,
I’m glad you have found prayer effective in relieving stress as I have.
I was in the hospital when I was in my mid-20s for an ulcer. I was in the same room as an older gentleman whose wife was visiting me. She asked me how I got where I was an I explained the stress I had. She said (and I now live by this):
There are things in this world that you can control, and there are things that you can’t. Worry about the things you have control over and whatever happens, happens on the things you can’t control.
It’s very true…my wife is a pre-worrier…she worries about thing before there is even a reason to worry!
Mike,
I think a lot of folks can identify with your wife—if they don’t have something to worry about, they worry about why they aren’t worried.
You learned a valuable lesson that should keep you ulcer-free and out of the hospital for stress-related illnesses.
It,s amazing I ran a high powered business for 21 years. Recently I sold up and retired to the sun and feel more stressed now than I did in my office - I guess it’s the stress of having nothing to do.
Dennis,
You were probably moving so fast in your business you didn’t take the time to feel the stress. Many people don’t live long after retirement because they’ve put so much effort into working/career/business that they can’t stand retirement. Often the effects of stress show up when the stress is relieved. I used to get severe migraine headaches. They usually came on the weekend after a stressful week at work or in some other way after the stress was relieved.
Like you said some stress is good, but too much over an extended period of time can really bring you down. I find that taking a step back and going outside really helps for me. I go take my dog for a walk or go play fetch with her and it really helps me put everything in perspective. Walking or jogging really helps me clear my head too.
It can be hard to do, but removing yourself from the situation for a little while can be great. Of course this doesn’t work for every type of stressful situation, because sometimes it simply isn’t possible to remove yourself from it…
Brad,
We can probably remove ourselves from stressful situations more often than we realize. I have learned that when I am stressed by a deadline and think I just can’t stop until I finish the project, my productivity goes down. But if I take a break, get up from the computer, and move around a little, I work much more efficiently when I start back in a little while. The same thing probably applies to a lot of situations where we think we’re stuck.
I appreciate your post and your specific responses to the people who have commented.
I am also a freelance writer with a Christian foundation. Two of these posts spoke to me too.
Yes, the be not anxious… from Paul, is surely words to live by. I have lived through many stressors and strive to “be not anxious”
The other one is about the worry person, my family is full of worriers. I may deceive myself with by considering my silent anxiety all worry free, but stress is our response to the situation, it is not the situation. I stopped worrying about things I cannot control a long time ago. And when the anxiety monster surfaces again, I re-focus, live in THIS moment, for this is the only moment I actually have and send out prayers for “be not anxious”. Great post.
Donna,
I’m glad you found something worthwhile in the comments as well as the post. That is one of the greatest things about blogging—the conversations that develop can magnify the benefit of whatever is said in the original post. I have even written follow-up posts based on the comments on a particular topic, and I often gain new insights from what a reader says.
Excellent article, Lillie!
And, very timely for me. I was having this conversation with a colleague two days ago… on how to separate and deal with good/bad forms of stress.
I believe good stress is anything we bring on ourselves in the pursuit of providing excellent service to others. Striving to be better than we are can be stressful! That kind of stress will eventually shape and hone us into better human beings.
Bad stress is a fact of life. How we choose to respond or react will determine its effect on us long term. It’s difficult to maintain a positive attitude during times of bad stress but we must make the effort or risk falling into an abyss that can have severe consequences on every facet of our lives.
Again, excellent article. Thanks for writing about this subject.
Terry Snyder
Darn Good Marketing
Terry,
That’s an interesting distinction: good stress is essentially what we bring on ourselves and bad stress is what is beyond our control. Good point.
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