What I Learned from People with Magical Thinking
February 10, 2008 by Lillie
Table of contents for Magical Thinking
- What I Learned from People with Magical Thinking
- Authors and Magical Thinking
- Someone Who Isn’t a Magical Thinker
- More on Magical Thinking
When I worked for the state employment commission as part of the federal government’s War on Poverty in the 1970s, I encountered some … different, interesting , unusual … characters. Our clients were “hard-core unemployed;” some turned out to be unemployable.
The program was a collaboration between several governmental agencies and nonprofit organizations contracted to provide training. Participants attended classes to learn the basics of the world of work – from how to dress for a job interview to why it’s important to show up to a job when hired. They received a small weekly stipend during their training.
We counselors created an employability plan to determine what steps were required to make them ready to hold a job, and the job developers tried to find employers willing to hire those who had been through the program. Clients had to report for counseling if they were absent from class or exhibited behavioral problems, and we referred them to other services as needed.
One young veteran of the Vietnam War did not disclose that he was discharged with a mental disability. (One of the problems with the program was that we weren’t allowed to verify information; we had to accept whatever the applicants told us.) He missed classes for an entire week but showed up Friday afternoon for his paycheck from the previous week. When I asked him why he had been absent, he said his wife had left him, and he had followed her to Houston to try to convince her to return. He told me she left him because he didn’t have any money, and he needed money so she would go back to him. I’m quite sure it was his disturbed behavior and not lack of finances that caused her to leave, but he couldn’t be persuaded that he needed anything except money. He did agree to an appointment for family counseling Monday morning – probably just to get me to authorize the release of his check. That night at midnight, he showed up at the back door of a fast food restaurant where he had once worked. Because the manager recognized the former employee, he opened the door to him while he was counting the day’s receipts. The veteran slashed the manager’s throat and grabbed the money. In his confused thinking, he believed that slitting the man’s throat without killing him would keep the manager from identifying him; he didn’t realize the man would simply write his name on a notepad. The disturbed young man was arrested, convicted, and committed to a mental institution.
In another case, a young lady with a two-year-child was found to be pregnant. She said and asked very strange things about pregnancy – things that most women would know, especially if they had already borne a child. One day, she came to me in a panic and said, “They took my baby.” When I finally made sense of her confused and confusing statements, I realized that she had taken her two-year-old to the county (charity) hospital for medical treatment, and the hospital would not release the child to her. I made some phone calls to find out what had happened and learned that the child was not hers. As a tiny infant, the boy had been left with her to babysit. When the parents returned a few hours later, the house was empty and the babysitter and baby had disappeared. I confronted the client with this information, and she said, “But God gave me the baby. I wanted a baby so bad, and I prayed to God, and He sent me the baby.” She was charged with kidnapping, but I believe she was determined to be mentally incompetent to stand trial.
These are tragic stories of people who were seriously ill. However, they are more severe cases of a phenomenon I see far too often, what I call magical thinking. A lot of people who are not clinically ill suffer from magical thinking.
There are two elements of magical thinking:
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Magical thinkers feel a sense of entitlement. Because they want something, they believe they should have it.
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They expect someone or something outside themselves to give them what they want. I believe in the power of prayer, and I know God gives us good and perfect gifts we don’t deserve. But he doesn’t answer a woman’s prayer for a baby by giving her the opportunity to kidnap another family’s child.
Often magical thinkers expect the government to give them those things to which they feel entitled: health care, education, job security, retirement income, a bailout from financial problems … Now, I’m all in favor of the government protecting the most vulnerable among us – but the Constitution says we’re all entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We aren’t entitled to happiness, and we aren’t entitled to a life free of challenges.
Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings has challenged us to write about “What I Learned from People.” I’ve learned there are two kinds of people. Of course, there are many superficial differences – race/ethnicity, intelligence, appearance, personality, and dozens more. But these are superficial. At the core, we all want the same things – love, family, security, happiness.
The only real difference between people is whether they are magical thinkers or not. Those who aren’t magical thinkers recognize they aren’t entitled to everything they want and are willing to work to make their dreams come true.
“Pray like everything depends on God; work like everything depends on you.” (I couldn’t find the citation for this quote; if you know who said it, please let me know.) (St. Ignatius of Loyola) Thanks, Brad Shorr.
That’s interesting Lillie. My instinctive reaction is to want not to categorise people into ’sorts’ of people at all – especially as we can learn to change, to shift the way that we think to take responsibility for our actions – but I will chew on what you’ve said. It’s one of the things I like about Robert’s challenges – always food for thought.
Joanna
This is a very deep entry, Lillie. I’ve never even considered to call such way of thinking “magical” – to me magical has positive connotations, but I realize now that there are more facets to the term. Magical thinking is not always what shines with sparks of star dust. It can indeed cause harm to other people. What a sad revelation in your metaphor.
Lillian, a truly heartrending post. I can’t imagine what it would be like to think that way. The quote you mentioned came from St. Ignatius of Loyola, I believe. A wonderful, wonderful teaching.
Great article, Lillie! I think the “magical thinkers” are the ones who have not ever really grown up. Think of babies – they demand to be taken care of! If they want what is on your plate, they take it! But as we grow and mature, we realize that we must earn things, not just take them.
Thanks for an interesting post.
–Renae
People with schizotypal personality disorder: the ultimate in magical thinkers. (Think Mike Yanagita, the guy who tries to hit on the sheriff, in Fargo.)
Very thought-provoking, Lillie. I agree that it is food for thought.
Smiles,
Michele
Lillie, after reading tomorrow’s post (notice how time travel is truly possible – after the fact!) I finally understand what you meant by “magical thinking”. Like Mihaela, the term has positive connotations in my mind, but negative connotations in your article.
Once I got past that, and your “Authors and Magical Thinking” article (tomorrow), it all makes sense now!
Perhaps this is a good lesson in how readers interpret words in the light of their own experiences, no matter how you meant them. In any case, it was a good lesson and I thank you!
Cheers!
i think people with magical thinking is a blessing
there are not many people with such a mind
Very good article, I must say. I am glad to see an author mention this issue, because I have seen it even in my short and only 19 years, and I really think it’s a problem in this country.
I’m also glad that you pointed out that it’s not necessarily some one longing for some thing, but they actually think they’re entitled to it. I see this so much with people sucking on the government teet. What a lot of people do not understand is they had a chance to do well in school and rise above the poverty, in some cases that they grew up in, and get a good job. The education always has to come first.
I really think the media is to blame, honestly; but that’s my opinion. There’s too much emphasis on get rich quick, lose weight quick, clean up quick, quick, quick. We want every thing now, at our finger tips, and don’t want to work for it. No one wants to read when they have a talking box sitting in their living room that tells them what to think. It’s easier that way.
I’ve never been like my generation of Hollywood, celebrities, movies, internet memes, gossip (especially on the news, these people can get downright vicarious and voyeuristic); and most of it isn’t even accurate. We have live big, or die unfulfilled.
What ever happened to taking pride in nature? What happened to taking pride in your family and their well being first, money and entertainment LAST? I think it was Stills of Crosby, Stills, and Nash that I saw recently on a news program (60 minutes maybe, sue me if I’m wrong.) and he said some thing to the effect, and I paraphrase, that he didn’t have a talking box when he was a kid, that after dinner, his family would sit in their den and play music.
To me that’s much more fulfilling than wasting away in front of flashing images for the rest of your life. It’s more fulfilling than wasting your hard earned money on what they tell us we NEED to buy. Even the idea of food has been perverted, but don’t get me started on that.
I think this world is going to hell in a hand basket. We might as well be bending over for these panderers.
That story about the baby and babysitter is unbelievable. To think people think like that. Its just terrible. I can’t imagine what that family must have gone through once their child had been kidnapped.
Great article. I worked in an emergency youth shelter in college and I ran into several “magical thinkers” there. It was definitly a challenge to get them to acknowledge and follow house rules. I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. great insight into this problem.
I don’t know if I would call it magical thinking, but more the power of positive thinking, or the results of praying with faith. Faith has the power to change anything.
Chris,
I’m a strong believer in the power of prayer and faith. What I’m calling “magical thinking” is far different than that. I’m talking about people who don’t accept any responsibility but simply think they’re going to win the lottery or that God gave them a baby because they want one.
I responded to all comments at the time. However, when I moved my blog, threaded comments, including all my responses, were lost.
hmmm… interesting post. However, I my opinion is a bit different than yours. And maybe it has to do with your wording. When I think of “magical thinkers” I think of people who aren’t mentally ill or irresponsible, but of people who believe that magic in the world exists. Not Harry Potter magic, but if they work hard enough or believe enough, anything is possible. My definition would probably fall under people who aren’t magical thinkers. Interesting topic though. thanks.
Vanessa,
Other people disagreed with my terminology, also. Your description to me is people who are NOT magical thinkers. Magical thinkers aren’t people who believe that magic exists—they are people who expect magic to make their lives perfect.
I responded to each comment when it was made. However, when I moved my blog, threaded comments were lost.
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